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Angst. Super Angst.

February 10, 2011

What is it about bad days that just make you want to crawl under a rock and quit the world forever? It doesn’t even matter what it is that got you all bent out of shape. Maybe you handled a confrontation poorly. Maybe you forgot to get your change. Maybe you screwed up at work. Maybe you forgot to feed your pet. Maybe you said something dumb that made an acquaintance look at you funny. Maybe you missed an important appointment.

They all seem to center around the feeling like you let someone down. That is the worst feeling in the world – shame. Because really, that is the root of this mentality. You didn’t follow through with an assumed appropriate action, therefore you failed. Failure = shame. The rest is a downward spiral of high blood pressure, emotional meltdowns and binge eating.

I recently read an article about the power of shame – shame can be used to change whole cultural views. Lotus feet? Changed through the perception that it was shameful.

I had one of those days. I won’t go into detail, but needless to say I was ready to just quit life – become a hermit, hide in my home and just throw in the towel. I can’t help but feel terrible, like I’m CRAP. ARG.

And I know it’s so stupid and pointless to be this way. This is what’s called “first world problems.” I have a job, a roof over my head, clothes, shoes on my feet, and (usually) food in my kitchen. I know the world doesn’t stop turning when I have a bad day. I know that whatever my mistake was, it will most likely not bring my life to a screeching halt and even if it did, I have family and a loving husband who would be there for me… although I would probably be completely useless for a while.

Yet, a small part of me seems to whisper in my head, “just you watch – you don’t THINK it’s a big deal, but tomorrow this is all going to blow up in your face and it will be ALL. YOUR. FAULT!… but maybe if you’re on high alert…you just might get through this.”

I could go on and on about this, but really, I should just let it go and call it a night. Blarg.


Pride and Prejudice

February 6, 2011

I’m familiar with the story, I’ve even read Pride & Prejudice & Zombies (Awesome book, btw), but I’ve never see the fabled TV mini-series that everyone seems to go on and on about. You know, the one with Colin Firth as Mr. Darcy?

So, I finally bit the bullet and put it on the Netflix queue to see what all the fuss was about.


This really is awesome. Of course, I’m a big fan of the Classics and British TV in general, but poor film quality aside, I am completely loving it. I am enjoying it by myself however as most movies I’m partial to JB just can’t stand.

Oh well, that is all for now. Life revolves around work, chores, Zumba and tennis. San Diego pictures coming soon – promise!!

*Kisses/Disses – Lunch edition

February 3, 2011

-Knowing my new ZUMBA shirts are waiting for me at home! PRETTY COLORS!!! The anticipation is killing me.
-Getting a new tennis racquet tomorrow! It’s called "Fierce"! Ok, it’s not called just Fierce, but that’s what I’m calling it. That, or if I really want to be nerdy, Sting (because it is black and yellow – get it? No? Never mind.)
-JB stringing my new racquet with BLACK mains and maybe even gold crosses. I am going to look SO FIERCE ON THE COURT! GET IT???

No? Sorry. I get excited when new toys are coming my way.


-Raw broccoli. Wow. Just, wow. I would almost, almost, eat raw brussel sprouts before doing that again.
-Scratch that – that would probably be even more of a traumatic experience since I can’t even eat them cooked.

*Kisses & Disses borrowed from the talented Jasmine Star (J*)

Ice in the South East…

January 30, 2011

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January 29, 2011

Well, not really. But it was time for a new look! A new year, a new look – makes sense to me. Plus, spring is almost here! We are actually at 60 degrees here by the beach and I am SO happy for some warmer weather!

You may notice a few changes – No more “Newton’s Challenge” page. Ok, so it was a complete failure. I mean, I did start running and going to the gym at work. Problem: I’m not a hamster – running in place for an hour was not my idea of fun (plus no arm band for my music – so run in place for an hour with only people huffing and puffing as my soundtrack? no thanks.) And as convenient as it is to have a gym at work, I don’t really want to *stay* at work when the day’s over. I was really just completely struggling.

And then I found Zumba. Don’t really remember how I got started on it – but I signed up with the local Y and have been going as often as I can since. Started out only a few days a week – now I’m up to four (soon to be five when a Sunday class if offered!) Oh, and did I mention I signed up for a women double’s tennis ladder as well??? I know, I’m just crazy here.

Now, it’s only January, so I have a lot of time to fall off the exercise wagon here, but I think I’m doing pretty good.

Now, if only I could post on this blog more regularly…

California Dreamin’

January 28, 2011

One of my favorite shots from our trip to San Diego:

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Getting Old

January 27, 2011

The past few days have been all about getting old for me.

Got an eye exam (that was fun) and found out that I officially need glasses. I’m not blind or anything, but I do have some issues with distance and close up. Apparently, these will help with driving – uh oh, stay off the roads everybody! And for work (since my computer is the main reason for why I’m at this point in the first place). YAY. Also, real glasses? SUPER EXPENSIVE. So I haven’t bought any yet – still looking around. I tried on a few at the store – it is REALLY weird to see me in glasses. I now know what frames look best on me, but it still hard to wrap my head around.

And today, I found a white hair. Granted, I had a few when I was prepping for the wedding, but had I put that down to just general wedding stress. Not this time. *sigh* This is really traumatic for me. I’m not even 30 yet. (Fun fact: white hair is wiry and not as smooth as regular hair. And it’s harder to pluck!)

Besides my aging, JB and I just returned from our trip to San Diego to visit our new niece!! Took TONS of pictures but I haven’t had the chance to actually unload any of them.

More soon…